Writing an obituary in one evening
An obituary feels impossible mostly because it feels like it must summarize a whole person. It doesn't. It follows a known form, and the form does half the work — here it is, paragraph by paragraph.
The five-paragraph structure
1. The announcement. Full name (and maiden name), age, place of residence, date of passing. "Margaret Ann Wilson (née Foster), 78, of Springfield, passed away peacefully on July 8, 2026, surrounded by family."
2. The life. Born where and when, to whom; education, work, service, faith. Two or three sentences of facts.
3. The person. This is the paragraph people actually read: her garden, his terrible puns, the Sunday dinners, the season tickets. One concrete image outlives ten adjectives.
4. The family. Survived by…; preceded in death by…. List spouses in parentheses, count grandchildren if names run long.
5. The service. Date, time, place; interment; where memorial donations may go "in lieu of flowers", if the family wishes.
Gather these details first
Exact dates and place names, maiden names, the family list in order, employer/service years, and one or two stories from different relatives — the ten-minute phone calls to collect them are also, quietly, part of grieving together.
What to leave out
Cause of death is optional and increasingly omitted; exact street addresses (burglary risk during services — a sad but real convention); and anything the person kept private in life. When in doubt, write the version they would have nodded at.
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Frequently asked questions
How long should an obituary be?
Newspaper obituaries run 100–300 words (they charge by length); the program version can be warmer and longer. Write the full version first, then cut.
Do I have to include cause of death?
No. "Passed away peacefully" or "after a long illness" is as specific as many families choose to be.
Who is listed in "survived by" and in what order?
Spouse first, then children (with spouses in parentheses), grandchildren, parents, siblings — closest bond first is the convention.